Interviewing and Dating: Some Parallel Principles | BCGSearch.com

Interviewing and Dating: Some Parallel Principles

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As a legal recruiter, I am often asked about effective interviewing tips and techniques. In these conversations, I often find myself analogizing the interview process to the early stages of dating. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. In both scenarios, people are seeking a genuine connection with the other person, while communicating who they are and what they want in life.
Interviewing and Dating: Some Parallel Principles
 
Some Parallel Principles

1. Make a good first impression In both dating and interviewing, personal appearance and presentation are important first steps in building rapport. You want to look your best so that your interviewer will have a favorable first impression of you. In most interviews, it is a good idea to keep your appearance classic, conservative and simple. Also remember to avoid wearing any strong scents (i.e. perfume, cologne, lotion). You may find the smell pleasing, but your interviewer may not.

Example: A candidate once showed up to an interview wearing bright green eye shadow. Needless to say, her make up was very distracting- which made it difficult for the interviewer to focus on her qualifications and what she had to say. Try to avoid "the green eye shadow effect" by abstaining from questionable grooming and wardrobe choices.


2. Engage the other person in a conversation As much as is possible, try to make the interview a conversation, rather than a question and answer session. Many people get nervous in interview situations and wait passively for the interviewer to ask questions before speaking.

As in dating, interviewers will probably have a better impression of you if you actively engage in the interview and also show genuine interest in them and their background. Therefore, try to market your strengths and accomplishments as much as you can- however, if a more personalized conversation begins, let the conversation flow.

Example: At a screening interview with a large firm, the interviewer spends about 10 minutes talking with the candidate about her travels to Europe and then another 15 minutes on the subject of shoes. The candidate actively engages in the conversation and the two women chat like old friends. After the first interview, the candidate receives a call back interview and subsequently accepts an offer with the firm. The interviewer had already determined that the candidate was qualified and was more interested in evaluating the candidate's personality during the actual interview.

3. Leave any emotional baggage at home It's not a secret that looking for a job and interviewing can really take an emotional toll on someone. Within the legal field, it is a reality that some interviewers will take it upon themselves to be unfairly rude or harsh to potential candidates- just because they can.

It is important to "shake off" all prior negative interview experiences before going to a new interview. You don't want to unconsciously "self-sabotage" yourself in new interviews, by coming off as bitter or defensive. As with any first date, try to leave your emotional baggage at home.

Example: A candidate has a horrible interview experience with an extremely rude and obnoxious partner. This one bad experience causes him to lose his self-confidence, in all of his subsequent interviews. This candidate needs to makes a conscious decision to overcome that one negative experience, so he can move forward. Don't let one jerky interviewer affect the rest of your future opportunities.

4. Desperation is a repellant There is an important distinction between acting interested in a job and appearing desperate. Desperation is a repellant both in dating and interviews. Thus, try to use your best judgment in walking the line between not showing enough interest and showing too much interest in a potential position.
 
Reasonable displays of interest include thank you cards and one or two follow-up calls. The last thing you want to do is exhibit stalker-like tendencies, which may scare and turn off your potential employer.

Example: A qualified candidate finally gets an interview request, after being unemployed for eight months. During the interview, the candidate's nervous and frenzied energy comes off as desperation to the interviewer. The firm later decides to give an offer to another attorney, who has less experience. Although the original candidate would have been a better fit for the firm, his lack of confidence made his interviewer question his competency.

5. Be gracious and use good manners It is important to have good manners throughout the interviewing process, with every person that you encounter. Legal candidates are evaluated not only on their accomplishments, but on their interpersonal skills and attitude.

Whether it's a second date or an offer of employment, respectfully decline any offers you are not interested in pursuing, with grace. Not only is this the right thing to do, it is also the smart thing to do- as you build your reputation within your designated legal community.
 
Example: A large law firm decides not to give an offer to someone who attended a top ten law school and was top 5% of his class. Although the candidate was stellar "on paper", in person he was rude and condescending. Never underestimate the value of good interpersonal skills. An interview is the evaluation of an entire person, so don't forget your manners!
 
Closing statement


In closing, I hope that the above principles will provide you with some helpful interviewing tips along the way. I know it may sound corny, but the most important thing to be in an interview, is yourself. Therefore, remember to stay true to who you are and what you want out of life, and the rest will fall into place. Good luck!

See the following articles for more information:
 

About Harrison Barnes

Harrison Barnes is a prominent figure in the legal placement industry, known for his expertise in attorney placements and his extensive knowledge of the legal profession.

With over 25 years of experience, he has established himself as a leading voice in the field and has helped thousands of lawyers and law students find their ideal career paths.

Barnes is a former federal law clerk and associate at Quinn Emanuel and a graduate of the University of Chicago College and the University of Virginia Law School. He was a Rhodes Scholar Finalist at the University of Chicago and a member of the University of Virginia Law Review. Early in his legal career, he enrolled in Stanford Business School but dropped out because he missed legal recruiting too much.

Barnes' approach to the legal industry is rooted in his commitment to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. He believes that the key to success in the legal profession is to be proactive, persistent, and disciplined in one's approach to work and life. He encourages lawyers to take ownership of their careers and to focus on developing their skills and expertise in a way that aligns with their passions and interests.

One of how Barnes provides support to lawyers is through his writing. On his blog, HarrisonBarnes.com, and BCGSearch.com, he regularly shares his insights and advice on a range of topics related to the legal profession. Through his writing, he aims to empower lawyers to control their careers and make informed decisions about their professional development.

One of Barnes's fundamental philosophies in his writing is the importance of networking. He believes that networking is a critical component of career success and that it is essential for lawyers to establish relationships with others in their field. He encourages lawyers to attend events, join organizations, and connect with others in the legal community to build their professional networks.

Another central theme in Barnes' writing is the importance of personal and professional development. He believes that lawyers should continuously strive to improve themselves and develop their skills to succeed in their careers. He encourages lawyers to pursue ongoing education and training actively, read widely, and seek new opportunities for growth and development.

In addition to his work in the legal industry, Barnes is also a fitness and lifestyle enthusiast. He sees fitness and wellness as integral to his personal and professional development and encourages others to adopt a similar mindset. He starts his day at 4:00 am and dedicates several daily hours to running, weightlifting, and pursuing spiritual disciplines.

Finally, Barnes is a strong advocate for community service and giving back. He volunteers for the University of Chicago, where he is the former area chair of Los Angeles for the University of Chicago Admissions Office. He also serves as the President of the Young Presidents Organization's Century City Los Angeles Chapter, where he works to support and connect young business leaders.

In conclusion, Harrison Barnes is a visionary legal industry leader committed to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. Through his work at BCG Attorney Search, writing, and community involvement, he empowers lawyers to take control of their careers, develop their skills continuously, and lead fulfilling and successful lives. His philosophy of being proactive, persistent, and disciplined, combined with his focus on personal and professional development, makes him a valuable resource for anyone looking to succeed in the legal profession.


About BCG Attorney Search

BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive, while achieving results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.

Harrison Barnes does a weekly free webinar with live Q&A for attorneys and law students each Wednesday at 10:00 am PST. You can attend anonymously and ask questions about your career, this article, or any other legal career-related topics. You can sign up for the weekly webinar here: Register on Zoom

Harrison also does a weekly free webinar with live Q&A for law firms, companies, and others who hire attorneys each Wednesday at 10:00 am PST. You can sign up for the weekly webinar here: Register on Zoom

You can browse a list of past webinars here: Webinar Replays

You can also listen to Harrison Barnes Podcasts here: Attorney Career Advice Podcasts

You can also read Harrison Barnes' articles and books here: Harrison's Perspectives


Harrison Barnes is the legal profession's mentor and may be the only person in your legal career who will tell you why you are not reaching your full potential and what you really need to do to grow as an attorney--regardless of how much it hurts. If you prefer truth to stagnation, growth to comfort, and actionable ideas instead of fluffy concepts, you and Harrison will get along just fine. If, however, you want to stay where you are, talk about your past successes, and feel comfortable, Harrison is not for you.

Truly great mentors are like parents, doctors, therapists, spiritual figures, and others because in order to help you they need to expose you to pain and expose your weaknesses. But suppose you act on the advice and pain created by a mentor. In that case, you will become better: a better attorney, better employees, a better boss, know where you are going, and appreciate where you have been--you will hopefully also become a happier and better person. As you learn from Harrison, he hopes he will become your mentor.

To read more career and life advice articles visit Harrison's personal blog.


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