Flattery or Harassment? Sexual Attention in the Workplace and How to Deal With It

A recent posting by Above the Law discussing the "Hot Attorney" website caught my attention. Here's the link: http://abovethelaw.com/2008/07/hotatty_hot_attorney_website.php. The "Hot Attorney" website has since been taken down but the reactions to it continue. While many of the female attorneys whose pictures were posted without their knowledge were understandably angry, one associate was not upset and seemed to be flattered by the attention.

This raises some interesting issues: when it comes to sexual attention in the workplace, what is flattery, what is harassment and how should the recipient of this type of attention respond?


Flattery or Harassment?

First, when gauging one's reaction, context is key. Was a questionable comment made one-on- one or in front of a new client at an intake meeting?

Second, what is the power differential? Partner to associate or associate to associate?

Third, does the individual who made the comment have a reputation for that sort of behavior? If so, you may be doing the office a favor by letting them know in order to prevent it from happening again.

Fourth, and most importantly, how did it make you feel? Did it make you feel happy or demeaned?

What To Do?

After you've had a chance to think it through and gauge for yourself whether you were complimented or harassed, and you believe that you were harassed, then here are some possible ways to address the situation.

First, discreetly take the individual aside and talk about it. You may begin with a soft opening such as, "Look, you probably meant it is a compliment but...." and then express how the comment made you feel. If it happened in front of others, explain to the person that you don't want your colleagues thinking about you in a sexual manner. When they think about you at all, you want it to be about your work and your value as a professional.

Second, if you're too intimidated to talk to the person directly, seek out a trusted senior attorney to confide in and perhaps use as a go-between.

Third, if you feel that the situation has gotten out of hand, then talk to a trusted Labor & Employment attorney within your firm. Perhaps the individual in question has a history of this type of behavior.

Fourth, if you work with the individual on a daily basis, and you feel that the damage can not be repaired, then ask to be re-assigned to other matters.

Fifth, remember that you did nothing wrong and that you are entitled to work in an environment where you feel safe and at ease with your colleagues.

See also: Leave Sex, Politics, Religion, and Social Activism out of Your Job Search and Career If You Want to Work in a Large Law Firm

Conclusion

As a lawyer, it's important to keep in mind that you will oftentimes work under extreme stress and time pressures. Some people handle it better than others. That said, be sure to carefully evaluate the question: flattery or harassment? Is someone simply using their out-loud voice when they shouldn't? Or, is this a pattern of unwelcome, and inappropriate, attention? If it is the latter, then do something about it. But, if it is the former, then perhaps use a bit of humor to re-direct the attention and drive on.

Finally, a bit of anecdotal advice. I used to be an Army JAG attorney and spent a considerable amount of my time at Ft. Bragg, N.C. In Army parlance, Bragg is known as "the center of the universe." It's home to the Airborne and Special Operations Forces. Hence, Bragg is a very macho place and to succeed there, it behooves one to be "one of the guys." In this way, it was very much like a law firm where the senior partners are often men and you've got to play along to get along.

Now, the men that I worked with at Bragg were mostly professionals, but there were a few exceptions. For the exceptions, I learned that the most effective way to handle them was to pull them away from the group, look them straight in the eye, and tell them I thought that they could do better. It worked and I didn't come off as shrill or overly sensitive. In fact, one of these clowns eventually became a friend of mine and turned out to be not such a bad guy.

So, keep your sense of humor, try not to overreact and remember that a direct approach is most often the most successful one.

About Harrison Barnes

Harrison Barnes is a prominent figure in the legal placement industry, known for his expertise in attorney placements and his extensive knowledge of the legal profession.

With over 25 years of experience, he has established himself as a leading voice in the field and has helped thousands of lawyers and law students find their ideal career paths.

Barnes is a former federal law clerk and associate at Quinn Emanuel and a graduate of the University of Chicago College and the University of Virginia Law School. He was a Rhodes Scholar Finalist at the University of Chicago and a member of the University of Virginia Law Review. Early in his legal career, he enrolled in Stanford Business School but dropped out because he missed legal recruiting too much.

Barnes' approach to the legal industry is rooted in his commitment to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. He believes that the key to success in the legal profession is to be proactive, persistent, and disciplined in one's approach to work and life. He encourages lawyers to take ownership of their careers and to focus on developing their skills and expertise in a way that aligns with their passions and interests.

One of how Barnes provides support to lawyers is through his writing. On his blog, HarrisonBarnes.com, and BCGSearch.com, he regularly shares his insights and advice on a range of topics related to the legal profession. Through his writing, he aims to empower lawyers to control their careers and make informed decisions about their professional development.

One of Barnes's fundamental philosophies in his writing is the importance of networking. He believes that networking is a critical component of career success and that it is essential for lawyers to establish relationships with others in their field. He encourages lawyers to attend events, join organizations, and connect with others in the legal community to build their professional networks.

Another central theme in Barnes' writing is the importance of personal and professional development. He believes that lawyers should continuously strive to improve themselves and develop their skills to succeed in their careers. He encourages lawyers to pursue ongoing education and training actively, read widely, and seek new opportunities for growth and development.

In addition to his work in the legal industry, Barnes is also a fitness and lifestyle enthusiast. He sees fitness and wellness as integral to his personal and professional development and encourages others to adopt a similar mindset. He starts his day at 4:00 am and dedicates several daily hours to running, weightlifting, and pursuing spiritual disciplines.

Finally, Barnes is a strong advocate for community service and giving back. He volunteers for the University of Chicago, where he is the former area chair of Los Angeles for the University of Chicago Admissions Office. He also serves as the President of the Young Presidents Organization's Century City Los Angeles Chapter, where he works to support and connect young business leaders.

In conclusion, Harrison Barnes is a visionary legal industry leader committed to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. Through his work at BCG Attorney Search, writing, and community involvement, he empowers lawyers to take control of their careers, develop their skills continuously, and lead fulfilling and successful lives. His philosophy of being proactive, persistent, and disciplined, combined with his focus on personal and professional development, makes him a valuable resource for anyone looking to succeed in the legal profession.

About BCG Attorney Search

BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive, while achieving results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.