Description
Keep Private Information About Yourself, Private
[00:00:00] This peer blurted out that I was moving to another town over mid-summer because a living situation hadn't worked out and I decided I wanted a new place for the summer. The peer did this in front of a partner. It wasn't anything scandalous, but I was embarrassed and preferred it kept private. How should I handle and avoid these types of instance in the future?
Okay. First of all, the partner does not care. Partner doesn't care. Partner just needs work, done.
No one cares about you.
Partner's worried about mortgage. That's what he's worried about or she's worried about. So, don't have to worry about the partner being, it's... This is just ridiculous. It's not really backstabbing. People think they're doing fun stuff, but actually, the person that's doing that, looks the worst.
People only really care about is the work that you do, but how do you avoid that situation? You just learn to keep information close to the vest.
Meaning, you do not talk about yourself to the wrong people. One example, you have to decide that there's a cost benefit analysis, any time you turn over information about yourself. So, sometimes there's a value being [00:01:00] vulnerable, so you can certainly be vulnerable.
But, if you tell people something about yourself, that is likely to hurt you. Then you can assume that it will hurt you. So, if there's something wrong, if you have a serious health problem or you've done something bad in the past then that's likely to come back and people will use it against you.
Any negative information you share with others, others will share with others as well. So, let me just tell you a couple examples. I had one candidate one time that shared, I don't know why he did this, but, he shared in an interview he had a DUI. Incredibly not a good idea. But, the firm actually hired him, but the nickname they gave him was the drunk. And, again, I don't approve of this one way or another, the drunk . That's what they called him the whole time. He worked at the firm.
He never said anything about it. He didn't like it. And, I'm sure that having that name, held him back. People would call him on the [00:02:00] phone and say you're drunk and things like that to be funny, and, the firm thought it was very funny. He was actually a patent attorney, hired as a patent agent despite having gone to a good law school and so forth.
So, was there any reason for him to talk about having a DUI in the past? I don't know. It had been 10 years or something in his interview. No, there wasn't. I don't know why the firm thought it was actually funny. But, they decided to call him the drunk. And, that's what they did. He wasn't even hired as an attorney. They hired him as a patent agent, which is an insult in itself. It's a whole separate discussion. So, if you send people negative information about yourself, they will use it against you. If you tell people, and, I'm not saying that this is right, by any stretch of imagination. Any negative information you share with the firm may be used against you. And, maybe, it may.
This is not just law firms. This is all employers. It's in relationships. So, it's anywhere. Any time you have dealings with people, now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to share negative information with people, but, people use it [00:03:00] against you. They use it against you.
I'm sure you've been in relationships where you've told a significant other, something, some information about yourself that is very personal and deep and then when you fight with them, use negative information against you.
You need to be careful about who you share things with. There's all sorts of negative information. There could be health problems, disabilities, all sorts of things. It's just, what are you supposed to do? What what are going to do with that?
I was on an interview.
And, they started sharing the fact that they, heard voices in the past, and, needed time off and they don't know what caused them. How am I supposed to react to that? Am I supposed to think that this is someone I want to hire? I don't know. And, of course, I will tell you in a straight face that I didn't discriminate against the personnel, ultimately for the job they were interviewing. But, is that a good idea? To share all these sorts of information. You need to be very careful with things you share with your peers?
